Yes, I consider each of you a friend. After all, each of you know the deepest parts of my soul, the struggles in my life that I share with those closest to me. I confide in each of you, as friends do.
I was very hesitant to start a blog. Airing such personal, gut wrenching details can only be described as terrifying. To know that the entire world would be seeing all of the skeletons in my closet was something I couldn't prepare for. Like skydiving, all I could do was take a deep breath, say a silent prayer, and jump.
Jump I did. I jumped and continue to free fall. I want more than anything to bring awareness to the hardships that so many face silently. I want to support others in their unique journeys so that my blog can be a place where nobody feels alone. If I can make a difference, however small, it is worth it.
The emails, PMs and comments I have received from many of you have warmed my heart more than you will ever know. I have cried countless times as I read your stories. I have kept each of your messages in my heart when I am struggling. Your words have given me joy and hope in a world that is often cold and cruel.
Blogging has become a part of who I am. I have spent endless nights writing until 4 in the morning. I have made lists of topics, drafts, and notes everywhere I go. I have juggled homeschooling my daughter with maintaining this blog. I have questioned whether blogging was worth the effort, the exhaustion, and the self-doubt of exposing such raw parts of myself.
I have continued this journey because of you, my friends. Despite all my reservations, I am inspired by you. Inspired by each of you that allow me to walk with you on this journey of life.
There have been many obstacles along the road. I had my Facebook account hacked. Even worse, the person pretending to be me talked about my blog and about my daughter. Nothing that was said was offensive, but the violation I felt at having someone talk about what is so near and dear to me is indescribable. I changed my passwords, but not my determination.
Tonight, I had something happen that I never expected. I received a notification from Facebook that I was banned from commenting or posting in any groups that I don't manage for the next 72 hours. Someone must have reported me to Facebook, yet I received no warning, no explanation, no opportunity to defend myself.
There are hate groups on Facebook that are allowed to post things that can only be described as repugnant, yet I am banned from commenting or sharing my posts? Why?!
First, I felt angry. It infuriated me that someone would go to such extremes to prevent me from sharing my posts with others. What have I done to make someone hate me so much that I would be reported to Facebook?
The anger subsided, and sadness took its place. I am saddened that the forum I use to share my words with so many of you, the place where I have given and received support is now the place where my voice is silenced.
I have been transparent from the beginning of my blogging journey, and I will continue to do so. I want each of you to know how much I appreciate you and to let you know why I will be sitting on the sidelines for the next 72 hours.
I also want to ask each of you a favor. Although I am being benched, I won't stop writing. That is where each of you come in. I ask that you be my voice while I am unable to do so.
There will be a new post on my blog during my hiatus. I can only share it on my own wall and in my Facebook group (Surviving Mom Blog). I hope that in the meantime you will take the posts that have spoken to you and share it on social media and groups.
I didn't expect there to be anger or hate directed towards me, and that is a very difficult pill for me to swallow. As much as it hurts my heart, I still have a story to tell. As long as there are others who want to hear it, I will continue to support and stand by you. I appreciate each of you, and I hope that you will continue to stand beside me too.